Sixty-seven cents

The pennies thing is cracking me up for reasons I don't quite understand. Prolly something to do with the mental image of you cleaning them up, one by one, brain threatening to leak out your ears each and every time, only to have you inadvertently knock the whole thing over again. Tragedy to you, comedy to me. Only because the aforementioned picking upping and head throbbery was thine own fault.

The phone call was the best bad idea I've had in a while. I did it for a number of reasons...to hear your voice, to get as much conversation in as I could in the time I had, to see if what exists in the realm of ones and zeroes existed in real life. Your voice was better than I remembered, and the chemistry was...well. You were there, so you know. There were no awkward pauses, no jokes that fell flat, it was pretty much perfect from start to finish. And that, ironically, is exactly why it was such a terrible idea. Not being able to be with you in person went from a concept to something far more tangible, and it hurts. I spent hours last night crying silently on my pillow because I can't so much as meet you for lunch. There are so few people that I've ever felt this comfortable around, this completely at ease. I can tell you anything, and you understand it. Or, in those rare cases that you don't, you actually ask questions so that you can understand it. You know how many people do that? Yeah, actually, as a matter of fact, I bet you do.

I had the TV on while I was working on my story, and I saw commercials for two movies that I'm dying to see. The fact that I won't be seeing either of them with you makes me sad in a way that I can't quite explain.

You had a lot of work to do today (you were stuck at work, ha ha, nyah), and so I didn't have your full attention. This bothered me not becauase I was being neglected, but because I wanted to know every single thing that was going on, who was saying what, what you were working on, how your day was going as it was going. Yeah. that whole "want to know everything there is to know about you" mantra I keep uttering? It's not romantic hyperbole. I'm sure I'll calm down eventually, but at the moment, I'm so hungry for contact with you that I feel unspeakably empty when I'm without it.

I want you to notice when I'm not around.